Tips for A Lovely Valentine's Day at Home
Valentine's Day is just around the corner!
It’s a day for couples to celebrate their affection, of course, but I think it also serves as a good reminder for couples that get wrapped up in the daily to-dos who don’t show love as much as they’d like anymore.
And who could be busier than parents?
Dealing with all life has to offer while also tending to mini-humans and keeping them safe and entertained...it’s a lot! Especially this year. When we maybe spend so much time together we have little of the “absence makes the heart grow fonder” effect.
As such, you may feel like you’ve been seeing your partner day in and day out for months! But how much of that was actually quality time? Probably not much of it, if you’re like most couples.
So how do you make this Valentine’s Day special, especially if you’re planning to celebrate safely at home? Here are my best tips for making this holiday special.
Valentine’s Day falls on Sunday this year which means you can start celebrations on Saturday night as soon as the kids go to sleep.
Try planning a special night-in together. Perhaps order takeout or cook a new interesting dish! Talk about things you’d like to do in the next year or places you might want to travel together (once that’s a thing again). Have a special dessert and a nightcap of hot cocoa or wine.
You can then snuggle on the couch and watch your favorite romance movie, or take it to the bedroom and enjoy each other’s company.
Balance Family Time
On Sunday morning, plan to have a chill, non-rushed cup of coffee together. Put your to-do list away for the day! I recommend putting on some of your favorite tunes, and enjoying the time together, phone-free. Let the kids play, color, or even watch some screen time so that you can have some time to connect (remember, this is a special occasion! Once in a while is fine for extra tv time).
Lunch can be a family activity. Make some of your favorite foods and then go on a walk or have a family dance party- bonus points if you put on a song from your wedding!
After the kids are in bed, spend some time walking down memory lane and remembering the highlights of your relationship. Watch your wedding video, look through pictures from your time dating, and talk about some funny or meaningful things you remember from that time. This can help remind you of the reasons why you got together in the first place, and reminiscing on good times releases oxytocin (the bonding hormone)! Then you can draw a nice bubble bath, light a candle, and enjoy the romance of some dedicated one-on-one time.
You don’t need to do it all! I know this schedule may feel too idealistic for parents with little ones. Even if you only pick a couple of ideas from the list above, it’ll make for some great moments of connection. And that’s what it’s all about! The little things that add up. In the words of John Gottman- “small things often”.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Sheina Schochet, LMHC is a mom of 2 girls, licensed therapist, and founder of @loveafterbaby. She works as a relationship coach for women struggling with relationships and life transitions, especially new moms dealing with the new dynamics in their relationship after baby. She teaches women to work on solutions and challenge the thoughts and behaviors that keep them stuck, to feel more fulfilled and nurture a happier relationship and life. You can download her free Conflict to Connection guide here or join the waitlist for Bring Back the Love, a 30-day program.
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